self doubt sucks!

self doubt sucks!

It’s been a strange two and a half months here in Kargicak.  The journey into the world of writing, has been more challenging, than the 4000 mile bicycle journey that led me to this strange place.

The familar feelings of elation and self doubt synonymous with the highs and lows of bicycle touring, are just as accessible, it seems, from the comfort of one’s arm chair.

When spending so much time on your own, writing about the stuff you really care about, it’s difficult to stay connected with what matters to everyone else.  The sense of detatchment causes self doubt to set in; does anyone really care? Am I just making a idiot of myself, publicly?  The closer the writing gets to your own sense of purpose the more vulnerable you feel about sharing it.

A couple of weeks ago, in an attempt to save face and keep my comfort zone intact, I almost cut the content of the book in half.  Which, considering the subject matter, would have been somewhat contradictory.

It’s not easy to see the encouragement from those around you when you loose confidence in what you’re trying to do.  However, I’ve repeatedly found; when you take a leap of faith and pour everything you’ve got into something that matters, the universe conspires to support you.  This time in form of Shonette and Patrica, who between them, have raised a whopping £600 toward the ‘build a school‘ fund for Room to Read.  Special thank yous also to Andy Cope, Andy Whittaker and Chris Connaughton for donating raffle prizes.

This fantastic effort, combined with the many other very generous donations, has pushed the current total up to a fantastic £1365 – of people’s hard-earned care.  And let’s face it, I’ve spent most of my life making a idiot of myself, publicly, so why should that bother me now?

Becoming fully and involuntarily engaged in these highs and lows, does bring comfort that what I’ve written, is very real.  It was only when I sat re-reading, in an attempt to salvage something safe to publish, that ‘what’ I had written, reaffirmed, ‘why’ it had to stay in.  Phew!!  There is strength in being vulnerable, paradoxically, protecting yourself from being vulnerable actually makes you weak.

More Great News

I was asked to capture some footage of Shurly Anne and I riding together, to accompany the discussion Leon Logothetis and I shared, back on mean streets of Zagreb, Croatia (they weren’t mean really, just adding a bit of drama).  Leon has now completed his round the world trip on a vintage motorcycle, fuelled purely by the kindness of others. A fantastic feat, follow the link above to learn more about it.  With any luck Shurly and I will be included in the documentary.  Last time I was on telly was was back in the early 90’s during ‘Gunge ‘um in the dungeon’ on CITV!

I also receive confirmation today that I have been granted a Visa number from the Iranian Embassy.  This is great news and should mean attaining a visa in from the Embassy in Erzurum is a foregone conclusion – fingers crossed.

So it is with renewed optimism that my new book will be available to download a week from today, Wednesday 5th of February 2014.  You can find out more about it and preorder it here:

Cylehacking: Do. Learn. Evolve.
An Unconventional Guide To Being Human

Thanks again for caring.

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