Book Update: Self Doubt Sucks!

self doubt sucks!

self doubt sucks!

It’s been a strange two and a half months here in Kargicak.  The journey into the world of writing, has been more challenging, than the 4000 mile bicycle journey that led me to this strange place.

The familar feelings of elation and self doubt synonymous with the highs and lows of bicycle touring, are just as accessible, it seems, from the comfort of one’s arm chair.

When spending so much time on your own, writing about the stuff you really care about, it’s difficult to stay connected with what matters to everyone else.  The sense of detatchment causes self doubt to set in; does anyone really care? Am I just making a idiot of myself, publicly?  The closer the writing gets to your own sense of purpose the more vulnerable you feel about sharing it.

A couple of weeks ago, in an attempt to save face and keep my comfort zone intact, I almost cut the content of the book in half.  Which, considering the subject matter, would have been somewhat contradictory.

It’s not easy to see the encouragement from those around you when you loose confidence in what you’re trying to do.  However, I’ve repeatedly found; when you take a leap of faith and pour everything you’ve got into something that matters, the universe conspires to support you.  This time in form of Shonette and Patrica, who between them, have raised a whopping £600 toward the ‘build a school‘ fund for Room to Read.  Special thank yous also to Andy Cope, Andy Whittaker and Chris Connaughton for donating raffle prizes.

This fantastic effort, combined with the many other very generous donations, has pushed the current total up to a fantastic £1365 – of people’s hard-earned care.  And let’s face it, I’ve spent most of my life making a idiot of myself, publicly, so why should that bother me now?

Becoming fully and involuntarily engaged in these highs and lows, does bring comfort that what I’ve written, is very real.  It was only when I sat re-reading, in an attempt to salvage something safe to publish, that ‘what’ I had written, reaffirmed, ‘why’ it had to stay in.  Phew!!  There is strength in being vulnerable, paradoxically, protecting yourself from being vulnerable actually makes you weak.

More Great News

I was asked to capture some footage of Shurly Anne and I riding together, to accompany the discussion Leon Logothetis and I shared, back on mean streets of Zagreb, Croatia (they weren’t mean really, just adding a bit of drama).  Leon has now completed his round the world trip on a vintage motorcycle, fuelled purely by the kindness of others. A fantastic feat, follow the link above to learn more about it.  With any luck Shurly and I will be included in the documentary.  Last time I was on telly was was back in the early 90’s during ‘Gunge ‘um in the dungeon’ on CITV!

I also receive confirmation today that I have been granted a Visa number from the Iranian Embassy.  This is great news and should mean attaining a visa in from the Embassy in Erzurum is a foregone conclusion – fingers crossed.

So it is with renewed optimism that my new book will be available to download a week from today, Wednesday 5th of February 2014.  You can find out more about it and preorder it here:

Cylehacking: Do. Learn. Evolve.
An Unconventional Guide To Being Human

Thanks again for caring.

8 Responses to Book Update: Self Doubt Sucks!

  1. Anne-Laure January 29, 2014 at 8:02 pm #

    That’s a lot of good news :D
    It’s great to hear things are going really well for you and the fundraising.
    I can’t wait to read more about your time in Iran when you finally get there :)

    I find self-doubt very useful and almost reassuring in a sense.
    It inevitably makes me think and reassess what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. This way it ensures I never take the easy option of going with the flow and forget what I really want and care about.

    • Fraser January 29, 2014 at 8:29 pm #

      Thanks Anne-Laure,

      Iran is going to be fascinating I’m sure. The next 10,000 miles is going to be a real step into the unknown for me, and it will be a pleasure sharing it.

      I totally agree with you on self doubt; feeling it, sucks, but it inevitably leads to reflection, and better choices as a result.

      Lovely to hear from you,

      Fraser

  2. Jane Delbridge January 29, 2014 at 8:40 pm #

    Wow, that time has gone fast ( perhaps not as quickly for you mind!). Amazing achievement to get the book done. Will look forward to reading it. Fab news about visa too….must have made your month! Take care love Jane xx

    • Fraser January 29, 2014 at 10:54 pm #

      Thanks Jane, It seems like an age ago I was arriving to stay with you in Norwich. Standing still definitely seems to slow the sands of time.

      But I’ll be moving again very soon. That really is good news.

      Say hello to Ewan, Finlay and Mike.

      Miss you loads,

      Fraser x

  3. Lisia January 30, 2014 at 2:37 am #

    Hi, Fraser,

    the time I read this update, we are at the end of year of snake according to Chinese Lunar calendar. Starting from tomorrow, it will be year of Horse, which I remember is your year.

    it is said 2014 is the golden horse year, all these great news mean a great start. I wish you all the best for the year of horse!

    Until next time, go do what you love!

    Lisia

    • Fraser January 30, 2014 at 9:28 am #

      Hi Lisia,

      Lovely to hear from you and a massive HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to you – 新年好

      I look forward to the golden year of the horse, I’m sure there will be plenty of occasions when I need an actual horse. At such times I will remember the horse is always with me.

      Good luck to you and the team in 2014.

      Fraser

  4. GEOFF EGGINTON January 30, 2014 at 8:08 am #

    Good to see you’ll be back on the bike soon!

    • Fraser January 30, 2014 at 9:29 am #

      Cheers Geoff – I’m very excited!! ;-D

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